17 May, 2010


I hate my fucking job. I hate it. I hate it so fucking much. I'm sorry to use my language in such a way as that, but there is no other way to put it. I worked 3 years to get an associates degree, and i end up getting talked down to by a girl that doesn't even know what aa quadratic equation IS, let alone having the Sine cosine and tangent memorized for 30 45 and 60 degreee angles. I can't sleep. I hate this job so much i can't sleep. I'm not you fucking dog, so don't orgder me around lie one, or snap your fingers at me. The next person to talk to me like a dog is gatting a fistful of justice, and by justice i mean my fist.

05 May, 2010

Sleep Paralasys

Me and Jen ( my new girlfriend) went Inflataboating today. Inflataboating,for those of you who don't know is when you take a large amount of alcohol, a tiny amount of sunscreen, and a rather small 10$ inflatable boat from your local K-Mart, and decide to sit out on a lake until you are
A) Burned.
B) Drunk.

Both happened in rather quick succession, considering my pasty complexion and the angle of the sun. and being extremely B leads to a LOT of A. So we got off the lake fairly quickly and went to Captain Luey's for dinner.

Captain Luey's is a calabash/seafood restaurant in Battle Creek, MI. I can tell you right now that if you like seafood, this will be your restaurant. Being fairly buzzed when i walked in, we just sat at a table and ordered some waters. The waiter brought us some hush puppies, which as you can tell by my review so far, were DIVINE. Or at least as divine as a hush puppy could be. After those had soaked up the alcohol, we ordered the fried okra for our appetizer and the Catfish and Shrimp combo. Jen ordered the Pollack and Shrimp Combo for her entree

When the okra came out i noticed something extremely different. It was FRESH. The okra was fresh, and hand battered. There's a certain "clean" taste that comes with fresh ingredients, and that shone through on almost every facet of this meal. There was no Pre-battered frozen "set it and forget it" bullshit with this meal at all.

The catfish was flaky, and moist. The batter was a perfect blend of salt pepper and a touch of garlic. IT worked wonderfully with the flavor of the catfish, and did pretty good justice to the shrimp. The batter was flaky as well, and none too overpowering.

Jen's meal was just as good too. She had the garlic mashed potatoes with her pollack, and they were fresh, whipped with a light garlic butter. I can tell this because Working at (REDACTED) we go through a lot of garlic mash, and it's all (REDACTED)


Long story short, ALOE. WATER. Painkiller. Then I wake up all of a sudden in te middle of the night, and I feel something weird. I try to move my legs, but my toes won't even wiggle. My arms won't move. I try to breathe, and my breath only stays in the simple pattern that it's currently allowing me. I try to wiggle my shoulders, but i feel a weight press down on my chest, this crushing weight is straddling my chest, and holding my arms, I can feel it's knees pressing in the bed, it's breath on my neck. Then, as if scared away, the weight lifts. The icy fingers slide off my hand, the crushing weight subsides from my chest, and my breath, which i was able to make a couple subtle squeaks out of, comes in ragged gasps, racking my body. My mind is FREAKING OUT. What in the name of everything unholy was that.

Sleep Paralysis.

When your mind wakes up from REM sleep and your body doesn't. You're awake, but unable to move. because your body is still dreaming, you have lucid hallucinations. Sleep paralysis is often associated with alien abductions and ghostly visits.

I'll say. It felt like a ghostly visit allright. Jeebus Christo.
I hope everyone experiences that once in their life.