neckbeard. Week 1

Here is week 1 of the neckbeard.  Its nasty and disgusting. but it is growing on me (literally)

Rules are as follows.
1. no shaving below the jawline.
2. Nobody else dictates how long it goes on.
3. When i get tired of it, i shave it.

We will see how large this gets. Any suggestions are welcome.

My mission in life

To really boil oneself and their mission in life down into a few simple pages doesn’t really make sense. There are so many subtle nuances and feelings that cannot be captured by words. So, as promised, I will boil my mission in life down even further. By the end of this page I will describe to you, the reader, just how my life is going to go down.

                  At the current moment I am going to college. I am studying to be an architect. By the time I am thirty I should be working as an architect. I will have three college degrees at this point, and have spent 8 years getting those degrees.

                  My plan towards love and relationships is fairly simple. I just have to find someone who can reciprocate my feelings and ideas. I need to be comfortable and myself for her. That is who I plan on spending the rest of my life with. Kids will come easily, because it is what we do. I hope to have two children, as the American dream states.

As for money, it will come easily. As long as I stay happy, and healthy, the rest will fall in place. Happiness is the root of living a good life. As long as I am staying smiling, and keep a positive attitude, I will be alright. However, in order to facilitate change, you have to be unhappy with your current situation. This makes it extremely difficult to keep in a happy place while continuously changing, but it is possible.

            So there it is, my mission in life, boiled down into one simple page. In essence, what I want in life is to be happy, healthy, and loved. It is the vision of every human being since the beginning of time. The details may be a little muddy, but we all want the same thing. It is the nature of humanity.

Generation Y

Generation Y, as defined by multiple media outlets, is the group of people born after 1981 until 2001. It is a group of people who were just coming around when technology was booming. We may not remember rotary telephones, or the first attack on the World Trade Center. The thought of not being around computers may scare us, or make us uneasy. We recall fond memories of nickelodeon cartoons. Cell phones and laptops are by our side, but we are still comfortable having face time with other people. Often described as the echo boom, or the group of children created from baby boomers, we strive to be different from the generations before us.

      Well, where does that leave me? Oddly enough, I rest in an ironic part of this equation. Generation Y strives to be different from their given name, naming themselves Millennial’s. This sense of individuality and striving to be different from those before them makes generation Y unique and interesting. I, however find no solace in this description. I am not quite comfortable being described as a Millennial. Calling me a millennial conjures up all sorts of strange images of Justin Beiber, and ipods. I know for a fact that I am not part of that generation. But generation Y makes me seem like I am part of the generation X/Y battle. So, I have figured out a way to define those awkwardly perched in that area between the two generations. That definition being 90s Kids.

      90s kids are defined as the people who were born in the mid to late eighties. We grew up in the nineties with fond memories of the Power Rangers, Oregon Trail, and Saturday morning cartoons. Computers were simple, and the games were simpler. The Nintendo Entertainment System had just brought videogames into our living rooms, something unheard of until this point. We remember Paperboy, and Dr. Mario. Warm remembrances of days spent playing outside tend to flood back when we look  into our childhood. This tends to counter that of children of today.

      The children being brought up today are absolutely swimming in technology. Ipods, Ipads, Iphones, I everything. Its enough to make your head swirl. Even though Generation Y was born in the near infancy of the technology boom we have been surpassed, and find it hard to grasp hold of the technology being thrown at us today. IT will all work out in the end though. As a generation Y person I find it easy to cope with the changing technology. I will miss the outdoors though.

Neckbeard?

So the new job is going great, love the work and the yada yada. Anyways, i was wondering how entertainng it would be for, lets say, an epic neckbeard competition? As in, I grow a neckbeard, and give you guys weekly updates. This would include photos of me as well, as i delve deeper and deeper into the depths of my necknastyness.

lemme know

New job

I love the new job, seriously.

Basically imagine an extremely low stress environment. Now get paid just enough to make it awesome. Thats my job.

Third shift nowadays. so a lot of my updates are gonna be late at night.

Epic drug test tale.

So, this morning I had a drug test for the new job. I strolled into the office thinking i was gonna ace the test. 

Fuck yeah, Drug test. No problem

I had the utmost confidence in myself. I was ready to go. I had drank a TON of water. Literally a metric TON. The lady handed me the cup, and led me to the facilities. This is where the epic battle begins.

I stood there with little plastic cup in my hand, nothing to worry about. I dont do any drugs, my bladders is full. Lets do this. I whip out, and prepare to unleash the motherfucking fury on this drug test. But i hear a noise outside of the door, and my bladder suddenly goes FUCK NO DUDE. PEOPLE CAN HEAR.

Are you serious?

I look down and give my man The Look. 

ME:Are you serious right now?

DUDEJUNK: Yeah. Totally serious. Someone can hear us

ME: Dude, just do it. We have nothing to worry about.

DUDEJUNK:  I know we dont, but she can hear us,

ME: JUST DO IT!

Dudejunk Decided to be an asshole. He sat there. Not a damn drop. SO i decided to start negotiating. I tried bargaining, but nothing was working. Then i remembered a nugget of information someone had told me a while back, about how when you poo, the poo pushes a little on your bladder, maybe thats all i needed to start the flow. I did that, and NOTHING.

SO now, i have a lady waiting outside, waiting for a cup of my urine, and Im sitting on the now full toilet, empty cup in my hand, full bladder, and shy dudejunk. I stand back up and readjust my situation. 

Dudejunk decided it still was not gonna happen. So i decided to go for broke. 

Time to push.

So I did. 

Dudejunk was angry too, and fought back!

But i somehow came out on top, and pushed just enough out to make the test.

Now if you excuse me, the traitor has to relieve himself.

Bastard.

The last day

Today was my last day on the job at the restaurant i worked at. I spent most of the day dilly dallying, to be serious. I honestly had had enough of the place, not the people, just the place. The high stress work environment was putting a stress on my personal relationships, and my relationship with myself.

TO all of those who still work there, i send you my best regards. Most of you are wonderful people, amd i wish you the best.

To the rest.... you can eat a dick.

Oh, and roxxybelle. You were pretty fucking awesome. I wish i could have been able to get to know you outside of work better.  You seemed like you would have been a great friend.

I will miss being in a kitchen, but i am ecstatic to be out of the high stress environment. 

April fools.

the last post was a falsification. I win april fools day.

Jailhouse.

I went into work early today. I figured I would be helping out. I did for a while, then things got strange. Someone showed up looking for me. It was the local police. Apparently there were felony warrants out for me on assault with a deadly weapon, Misdemeanor theft, and felony battery. 

To recap WHY this is happening. It is because of my last relationship. When i was with her I could not control my anger. I dont know why. I just couldnt. I would drink to dull the frustrations and dissapointments welling up inside of me from working 50+ hours a week whilst she sat on her ass and did nothing. She demanded money from me at every turn. She basically sucked me dry, and i couldnt take it anymore. 

So I punched walls. I broke my hands, and my wrists. i spilled blood everywhere, and somewhere in the fray she was trying to stop me, and i accidentally swung at her.

I would NEVER hit a woman intentionally. She thought i was being malicious, so she slammed the door. I attacked the door, and tore it to splinters, and a piece of the door hit her in the face, hence the deadly weapon part.

Now as for the theft. I grabbed my laptop and my keys and called my father, who came and picked me up. It  was my laptop, registered in my name, but since she stored some credit card info on it, I apparently stole that when i left the house.

I have no money for a lawyer, and no defense. I will plead guilty in the morning. And i will probably do 5-10.